4.13.2007
got no pictures (cause i'm at work)
i've been listening to a little bit of music over the past two days with varying results. last night i checked out an explosions in the sky album for the first time. their songs are instrumentals so i figured there'd be less of a chance they'd make me sad since there were no words to trigger thoughts or memories. unfortunately, the songs do, at times, sound like a movie score and listening to them made my thoughts and sadness feel more intense. eventually, i broke down in front of the computer. and then on the porch. and then on the inside stairs. maybe it was because it was late and kim had already gone to bed and all i had left to look forward to was curling up on the couch and calling it a day. i thought loooooooong and hard about walking to the train station and calling it more than just a day.
it's kind of funny that the particular album i was listening to was titled "the earth is not a cold dead place." fuck you, explosions in the sky! it sure as hell feels cold and dead.
i didn't fall asleep until after 1 this morning. i didn't wake up until 8:50. oops. when i finally made it to my car at around 9:15, i decided that i'd give its speakers a workout for the first time in 10 days. last friday at lunch i bought modest mouse's "the lonesome crowded west" but still hadn't listened to it. it felt weird to turn it on and blast the volume. hearing isaac brock sing "so long, farewell, goodbye" as i sat at the light at hempstead avenue next to the frownhouse was definitely surreal.
i guess my favorite line of the morning was:
"i'm on my way to god don't know
my brain's the burger
my heart's the coal."
isaac is so lovably weird.
i've been listening to a little bit of music over the past two days with varying results. last night i checked out an explosions in the sky album for the first time. their songs are instrumentals so i figured there'd be less of a chance they'd make me sad since there were no words to trigger thoughts or memories. unfortunately, the songs do, at times, sound like a movie score and listening to them made my thoughts and sadness feel more intense. eventually, i broke down in front of the computer. and then on the porch. and then on the inside stairs. maybe it was because it was late and kim had already gone to bed and all i had left to look forward to was curling up on the couch and calling it a day. i thought loooooooong and hard about walking to the train station and calling it more than just a day.
it's kind of funny that the particular album i was listening to was titled "the earth is not a cold dead place." fuck you, explosions in the sky! it sure as hell feels cold and dead.
i didn't fall asleep until after 1 this morning. i didn't wake up until 8:50. oops. when i finally made it to my car at around 9:15, i decided that i'd give its speakers a workout for the first time in 10 days. last friday at lunch i bought modest mouse's "the lonesome crowded west" but still hadn't listened to it. it felt weird to turn it on and blast the volume. hearing isaac brock sing "so long, farewell, goodbye" as i sat at the light at hempstead avenue next to the frownhouse was definitely surreal.
i guess my favorite line of the morning was:
"i'm on my way to god don't know
my brain's the burger
my heart's the coal."
isaac is so lovably weird.
