muted

what it is

lil' frankie turned 7 today. time really does fly.

when i got home from work, i called canton. i was hoping to be able to wish frankie a happy birthday. i've never spoken to him on the phone and was kinda looking forward to finding out what it'd be like. i can't remember if i ever spoke to anyone on the phone when i was 7. maybe i did to thank my grandma for a birthday card or something. i don't remember.

unfortunately, frankie was not at the house when i called. he'll be there tomorrow night.

it was good to speak to my mom. she asked me how i was doing and i lied. when she asked if there was any news to report, i hesitated for a second and ultimately decided against spilling my guts. i'm not ready to answer the obvious questions.

when we hung up, she told me, as always, to tell kim that she said "hi." "oh, i'll definitely do that," i replied through a smirk.

after i hung up the phone, i found myself talking out loud.

"things are just great here, mom. in fact, i don't think it's possible that they could be any better, really. i've honestly never been happier and if i had known things would turn out so awesomely, i would have moved to new york years before i did."

* * *

last night, a friend taught me a good way to look at things.

"fuck 'em, man. just fuck 'em."

it seems to be working well for me.

* * *

got jose's wedding invite in the mail today. they really are an amazing couple and i'm glad that i've been able to witness them interact on a few occasions. it's nice to know that true love really does exist.

* * *

i've been all alone in the apartment tonight. i still haven't been able to bring myself to listen to any music. it's been two straight days of tunelessness and if you know me at all, that's huge. i even bought a new cd at lunch today (i needed that little jolt of fleeting happiness that doing so brings me) but have yet to throw my ears on it.