muted

dwindling...

i have to admit that i've spent some really great days down here recently. i think it's important for me to leave on as good a note as possible so i'm very grateful for these days.

however, these awesome days also remind me exactly what i'm leaving behind.

although being mad when the shit hit the fan wasn't much fun, the anger made the idea of leaving here so much more enticing. i HAD to leave - there was just no other option. now that i've made peace with what's happened, there's a part of me that wishes i could have done so sooner so that maybe i wouldn't have felt the need to runrunrun.

i guess what i'm trying to say is that within days i will be walking away from the only life i've known for the last 3 to 6 years and it scares the hell out of me and makes me pretty damn sad.

this is by far the worst writing i've ever posted. sorry about that. brain=mush.