4.12.2006
pictureless
you have the house to yourself again because that show doesn't grab you the way it grabs them. what are you going to do? you could spend the time in front of the computer, blasting two hour's worth of the new music you've recently found and reading about internet people you don't know and will never meet. that's getting pretty boring, though. you could try to clean some shit off of your ipod but you know that's always easier in theory than execution and you'll probably just get frustrated at yourself for not being able to let go. hmmm. if you don't do something worthwhile before bed, tomorrow will be upon you and you'll be closer to death without having accomplished anything.
you could post to your blog. hmmm. you'll need a picture first if you want to keep the format you've recently adopted. you should look at your pictures from sunday and see if there are any that stick out. good idea. wow. only you could spend an hour at the former site of the world's fair/the place where the end of MIB was filmed and end up with zero good pictures. you should probably chuck your camera or ebay it at the least. nah, ebay's too much of a hassle. ok, so no post. that's ok - it's a stupid blog anyway and if you're looking at it to make you feel like you've accomplished something, you're even more of a loser than you thought.
she would be surprised if you addressed the pile of trashbags filled with empty bottles that rests between the refrigerator and the one kitchen wall with a window. it's dark out, though. is the bottle return area lighted? it must be - you've returned bottles at night before...you think. you also need trashbags and hand soap for the bathroom. hmmm.
whoa. what is that feeling that just crashed upon you without warning? you're suddenly cold and completely frozen except for the tears that have welled up in your eyes. this happens a lot lately but usually you can pinpoint a reason. sad song, memory, thinking too much - something like that. but t.i.'s coming from your speakers and that shit ain't sad. and you were thinking about handsoaptrashbagbottleredemptions. this isn't good. you get up and walk to the kitchen, then to the bathroom where you stare at yourself in the mirror for a few minutes, then return to the chair in front of the computer. why did you just do that? you're not sure. you put your head in your hands and grab your hair in your fists. you do this a lot lately when no one's around. concentrate. ok, forget the bottles. you'll return them another day. but you still need soap and trashbags and you should probably get gas. you'll need money and might as well throw those bills in the mailbox while you're out. shit. that's a handful of things to do which means you'll have to figure out which order to do them. this is always the hardest part for you - making decisions in this state. you pace some more between the three rooms before you grab the bills, your phone, your keys and your jacket and tell yourself that you'll figure it all out when you have to.
before you reach your car, you decide that you'll drive to the mailbox. it's late and the parking lot will be empty and you've never driven to the mailbox before so this plan sounds good. you reach the parking lot and because you're such a worrywort, you turn your car off, roll up its windows and lock the doors even though the mailbox is 5 feet away and no one is around to justify your fears. you return to your car and as you head towards the parking lot's exit, you remember that you can only go right which heads back towards your apartment. since you're heading that way, you decide that you might as well run back up to the apartment and grab all those bottles. how you make your decisions tonight is taking its toll on you. 5 minutes later your car is now the proud keeper of 7 bags of empty bottles. you have 4 dollars in your wallet and are not sure how many in your back seat in plastic form so the bank will be the next stop. you plan to use the drive through because you don't want to interrupt the exploding hearts cd you're hearing for the first time, but you stop at the atm, glance at it for a second and then inexplicably take your foot off the brake to pull your car into one of the many empty spaces to your right. you find that to be strange.
you arrive at waldbaum's and grab 3 of the bags from your backseat. 3 will be a good start, you figure. before you can make it to the return area, you're intercepted by a plainsclothes man who tells you the area is closed for the night. you thank the man and return to your car, wondering what your next move should be. maybe king kullen is still taking empties tonight. if not, you're not sure what you'll do. you really don't want to take these 7 bags back into the apartment. since the money doesn't concern you much, you try to think of a place where you could just dump them. it's too early to try chucking them in the area next to 473 merrick. why are you thinking about all of this before you've reached king kullen? it's just like you.
king kullen is still taking empties, which is good. your eyes are still filled with tears, which is not. but it is allergy season so you can blame the watery redness on that if anyone asks. you don't even bother wiping your eyes anymore after this thought. 86 bottles later, you slip into the store looking for the customer service area. you find it, exchange your four slips of paper for 4 dollars, a quarter and a nickel, and are now free to purchase the trashbags and hand soap.
but you're here and money's tight and the cafeteria at work is expensive. shouldn't you grab some cold cuts and bread? is it worth it for 3 days of lunches? you head towards the deli but stop. then you head away from it and stop again. jesus christ, another decision you can't make easily. you notice the tears again. you must look weird doing your dance of indecision. good thing the store is rather empty. you decide that cold cuts will be bought. you spend a half hour walking around the store looking for 8 items in total because you can't concentrate and you don't know the store very well. it's obvious that if you were a worthwhile boyfriend you'd know the layout of this store better. you're so bad at life.
getgasmakelunchwatchgilmoregirlsontapetreesandbed.
you have the house to yourself again because that show doesn't grab you the way it grabs them. what are you going to do? you could spend the time in front of the computer, blasting two hour's worth of the new music you've recently found and reading about internet people you don't know and will never meet. that's getting pretty boring, though. you could try to clean some shit off of your ipod but you know that's always easier in theory than execution and you'll probably just get frustrated at yourself for not being able to let go. hmmm. if you don't do something worthwhile before bed, tomorrow will be upon you and you'll be closer to death without having accomplished anything.
you could post to your blog. hmmm. you'll need a picture first if you want to keep the format you've recently adopted. you should look at your pictures from sunday and see if there are any that stick out. good idea. wow. only you could spend an hour at the former site of the world's fair/the place where the end of MIB was filmed and end up with zero good pictures. you should probably chuck your camera or ebay it at the least. nah, ebay's too much of a hassle. ok, so no post. that's ok - it's a stupid blog anyway and if you're looking at it to make you feel like you've accomplished something, you're even more of a loser than you thought.
she would be surprised if you addressed the pile of trashbags filled with empty bottles that rests between the refrigerator and the one kitchen wall with a window. it's dark out, though. is the bottle return area lighted? it must be - you've returned bottles at night before...you think. you also need trashbags and hand soap for the bathroom. hmmm.
whoa. what is that feeling that just crashed upon you without warning? you're suddenly cold and completely frozen except for the tears that have welled up in your eyes. this happens a lot lately but usually you can pinpoint a reason. sad song, memory, thinking too much - something like that. but t.i.'s coming from your speakers and that shit ain't sad. and you were thinking about handsoaptrashbagbottleredemptions. this isn't good. you get up and walk to the kitchen, then to the bathroom where you stare at yourself in the mirror for a few minutes, then return to the chair in front of the computer. why did you just do that? you're not sure. you put your head in your hands and grab your hair in your fists. you do this a lot lately when no one's around. concentrate. ok, forget the bottles. you'll return them another day. but you still need soap and trashbags and you should probably get gas. you'll need money and might as well throw those bills in the mailbox while you're out. shit. that's a handful of things to do which means you'll have to figure out which order to do them. this is always the hardest part for you - making decisions in this state. you pace some more between the three rooms before you grab the bills, your phone, your keys and your jacket and tell yourself that you'll figure it all out when you have to.
before you reach your car, you decide that you'll drive to the mailbox. it's late and the parking lot will be empty and you've never driven to the mailbox before so this plan sounds good. you reach the parking lot and because you're such a worrywort, you turn your car off, roll up its windows and lock the doors even though the mailbox is 5 feet away and no one is around to justify your fears. you return to your car and as you head towards the parking lot's exit, you remember that you can only go right which heads back towards your apartment. since you're heading that way, you decide that you might as well run back up to the apartment and grab all those bottles. how you make your decisions tonight is taking its toll on you. 5 minutes later your car is now the proud keeper of 7 bags of empty bottles. you have 4 dollars in your wallet and are not sure how many in your back seat in plastic form so the bank will be the next stop. you plan to use the drive through because you don't want to interrupt the exploding hearts cd you're hearing for the first time, but you stop at the atm, glance at it for a second and then inexplicably take your foot off the brake to pull your car into one of the many empty spaces to your right. you find that to be strange.
you arrive at waldbaum's and grab 3 of the bags from your backseat. 3 will be a good start, you figure. before you can make it to the return area, you're intercepted by a plainsclothes man who tells you the area is closed for the night. you thank the man and return to your car, wondering what your next move should be. maybe king kullen is still taking empties tonight. if not, you're not sure what you'll do. you really don't want to take these 7 bags back into the apartment. since the money doesn't concern you much, you try to think of a place where you could just dump them. it's too early to try chucking them in the area next to 473 merrick. why are you thinking about all of this before you've reached king kullen? it's just like you.
king kullen is still taking empties, which is good. your eyes are still filled with tears, which is not. but it is allergy season so you can blame the watery redness on that if anyone asks. you don't even bother wiping your eyes anymore after this thought. 86 bottles later, you slip into the store looking for the customer service area. you find it, exchange your four slips of paper for 4 dollars, a quarter and a nickel, and are now free to purchase the trashbags and hand soap.
but you're here and money's tight and the cafeteria at work is expensive. shouldn't you grab some cold cuts and bread? is it worth it for 3 days of lunches? you head towards the deli but stop. then you head away from it and stop again. jesus christ, another decision you can't make easily. you notice the tears again. you must look weird doing your dance of indecision. good thing the store is rather empty. you decide that cold cuts will be bought. you spend a half hour walking around the store looking for 8 items in total because you can't concentrate and you don't know the store very well. it's obvious that if you were a worthwhile boyfriend you'd know the layout of this store better. you're so bad at life.
getgasmakelunchwatchgilmoregirlsontapetreesandbed.
