muted

barred.

wanna see something funny? go to www.poetry.com and type in my name. you can read some stuff i wrote back when i shunned sentences. they're pretty cringeworthy and although each ends with a "copyright 2007" i assure you they were written years ago. what the f was i thinking?

* * *

i don't like that dr. a said this to me last night:

"i hope your anger keeps you warm at night."

he did smile/half-chuckle after saying it, but i still think it was mean. jennifer suggested that maybe he was trying to get me mad. i guess that's possible given the way i kinda just sat there last night. still, she thought it was a mean thing to say and i'm glad it's not just me who feels that way.

also, last week he made it sound like he agreed with my recent decisions and that they really were the only ones i could have made. this week, he took a different side and i find it pretty damn confusing.

"you're not moving for the right reasons. what i mean is that most people move to go take advantage of an opportunity. a new job, a new house. things like that. you're moving to get away from something."

i guess trying to get myself into a more friendly environment isn't a valid reason for moving in his eyes.

"i made the only decision i could make."

last week he agreed with me.

this week he said "you made a decision. there were alternatives."

"none that would preserve whatever dignity i have left."

"well, i hope your dignity keeps you warm at night, too."

i don't know about this guy.

* * *

drew, you gotta make a myspace music page and start posting your songs. you promised. get on that shit.

i posted a couple new things on my page. i wouldn't call them songs, really, but whatever. steph did compliment them out of the blue which was nice. unsolicited positive feedback rules. i never got much of that around these parts which bothered me because i always tried to give feedback to my friends/former-friends and asking for feedback is the absolute worst. just another sign that i'm making the right move by getting outta here, i guess.

in your face, dr. a.