muted

"dreamed about killing you again last night
(and it felt alright to me)"

i was doing pretty well. honestly. i didn't think about new york much when i was in massachusetts. i was too nervous about the interviews and too excited about the possibilities for my islandless future. once the interviews were over and some positive feedback started trickling in, i was mostly just excited. therapy wednesday night was like something out of the twilight zone. smiles, jokes, laughter. in all the years i've been going, i've never had such a session. i'm not gonna lie - it actually felt pretty damn strange. but i guess it was one of those good stranges, see?

however, now that the feedback has stopped and the excitement has begun to wane, i can feel the sadness taking over. living my day to day life here is a constant reminder of how things used to be and how much different they are now.

[this section removed because it's painfully obvious that the ratio of missing on my part to being missed by those down here is astronomical]

i guess i just need this island in my rearviewmirror as quickly as possible.