muted

saturday

the plan was to take pictures at castle island today but it was way too hot outside for that. i needed to go somewhere with the camera, though, so i hopped in my car and decided to wing it.

i've found myself in a funk of late so i don't understand why i ended up where i did. i really must hate myself.

* * *

"what's this documentary all about?"

oh shit. the newbury comics checkout dude is talking to me. don't stutter.

"some dude set up cameras at the golden gate bridge and recorded for a year and caught a bunch of people jumping to their deaths. then he went and talked to their families."

"whoa, that sounds pretty cool."

"yeah. and morbid."

"oh. morbid as hell. but cool, too. i should check it out."

"yeah."

* * *

so i watched the bridge by myself tonight. the shots of the golden gate bridge were quite breathtaking. the suicides and the stories behind them brought tears to my eyes.

it was definitely weird to be in my own funk while watching people end their lives. plus, i was reminded of the time i visited the bridge back in 2001. things only got weirder at the end - as the names of all 24 jumpers during the year of filming rolled across the screen, a howie day song began to play. of all the artists, howie fuckin' day. not funny.

apparently, more people commit suicide at the golden gate bridge than at any other spot in the world because there's no barrier to guard against it. if i ever go back to san francisco by myself, you'll know why.