muted

"yo yo. what up, yo? time is running out."

music.

i've had an interesting relationship with her over the past few days and like a quentin tarantino movie, the story of our relationship will jump around a bit.

last night after dinner i went down to my room to pay a few bills. i decided to throw a cd into the stereo johnnie left behind and i've adopted as my own. unfortunately, a remote control was not included as part of the adoption process but i'm happy to report that i'm making good progress in coming to terms with that.

since i hate myself, the national's boxer became the soundtrack as i watched my account balance dwindle. just as i thought to myself "i hope mom doesn't come down here because she'd sure be taken aback to see the faulty dams of my lower eyelids and she already has enough to worry about" there was a knock on my door. luckily, the national was loud enough for me to pretend i hadn't heard the knock as i grabbed the chicken and beef shirt i wear to bed and wiped my eyes. upon the second knock i yelled "come in" and in came mom.

somehow, she didn't notice my eyes. although i was grateful to not have to assure her everything was ok, it made me worry about her eyes. she is so strong. she never complains. how am i related to her?

when she was finished talking to me, she left and i returned to my bills just as the last song on boxer ended.

i really hate myself because i wasn't done with this game. i went over to the boxes where all my cd's rest and flipped through them until i found one that would suit. and boy did i find one.

into the cd player went sigur ros' first album. i'd write its name here right now but it's a funky one in a different language with foreign symbols my keyboard is hiding if it has them at all.

i skipped to track 2, or the "it's yooooouuuuuuu!" song. that's not really what the singer is saying because he's actually singing in a different language but it sounds close enough to english that it's become the song title to me.

and kim.

i remembered how this song kinda became our
unofficial song back before we were even official ourselves. as i layed on the bed, eyes closed and overflowing, i thought back to 2001 and sitting next to her at berklee's concert hall. she had fallen asleep because their songs can be monotonous but i made sure to wake her when this song began playing. and then i took her hand. i think that was the moment i knew that she would always be someone very special to me.

it was weird to think back to the slow climb to the peak of our relationship as i found myself dizzily stumbling in the post-peak valley.

newton.canton.kim.canton.?

frank and i talked about his job for a bit last night after mom went to bed and then i headed down to my room to call it a day. my room is directly under the living room so i can hear whatever's going on up there pretty clearly. when i crawled into bed i could hear some music playing and it took me a few moments to determine what i was hearing. great - justin timberlake's hbo special from madison square garden. i guess i could have come upstairs and asked frank to turn it down but the prospect made me feel badly so i layed there for a minute. usually, i can fall asleep to music but justin reminds me of a very specific time and place and of certain people and after the whole sigurnationalros experience, i knew he was the last thing i needed to hear. when it was clear that frank was invested in the jtmsg extravaganza, i reached for my ipod.

guess what i listened to as a fell asleep?

give up?

raekwon's only built 4 cuban linx. the post title may have given it away.

as the beats massaged my mind, i thought to myself "who else would be listening to this album in bed on huge ass headphones on the same day that he/she listened to and cried over the national and sigur ros?" and then for some odd reason, i felt a tinge of coolness. and took a picture. and yes, that's a breathe right strip.

i went to best buy at lunch today to buy "death proof." as i was walking around the store noticing that prices for dvd's have really started to come down, the music playing over the loudspeaker caught my attention.

beck's "i think i'm in love."

"fuck me," i thought.

i've skipped over beck whenever i'm using my ipod lately because i'm not ready to listen to him yet. he also reminds me of a very specific time and place and of certain people. the album containing "i think i'm in love" especially.

"this album is old by music-for-best-buy-shoppers standards. why are they playing it? shouldn't they be playing kanye or something?"

i'm not a huge kanye west fan. i bought his first album the day it came out due to its buzz and thought it was pretty good if a little too skit-laden and kinda overlong. then, of course, constantly hearing about how much he loved himself became a turn-off. so i ignored him as much as i could given how in your face his singles became. when his second album was released, i said "no thanks."

his third album was released last week. i caught him performing from a suite at the mtv video awards and thought it was pretty entertaining. then the message board i frequent which is notorious for digging obscure shit and for being extremely critical of even the most revered artists ("radiohead sucks!!" "tool's lame!") started talking about how good the album was. i started reading reviews. and then, to top it off, i asked jose if it was any good and he said "yo, the production is siiiick!" i was sold.

i bought the cd saturday and from the first note, i was a believer. the music is incredible and what i used to find annoying about his rhymes has kinda become endearing. i drove around blasting the cd and stopping to take random pictures, all the while with a huge smile on my face. "he's done it - he's finally as good as he thinks he is." the cd was actually making me happy...until someone pulled out in front of me without seeing me and i had to swerve, jam on the brakes and pray. luckily, i just missed the bitch.

still, the cd has been in constant rotation since saturday.

last night i went to drop those bills in a mailbox down the center of town and had mr. west blasting. on the way home, a deer ran out in front of me and i had to jam on the brakes again. before saturday, i've only had to brakejam once in my entire driving career.

i think kanye west is trying to kill me!

[fingers crossed he succeeds]

thanks for the picture compliments. i really appreciate them.

and rocky's not unhappy. that's the way his face always looks - it adds to his charm.

ever see a sad-faced dog wag its tail?

i do every day!!

peace.