muted

dr. michael rodriguez, boston, ma, january 2008

this was certainly out of my comfort zone.

when i'm alone, i'm not a particularly happy person. i've noticed over the last few years, however, that a camera changes things. i don't know how else to put it - i've fallen in love with photography.

sometimes when i'm at work i find myself daydreaming about earning my living as a photographer. with no money to take classes, i know the chances of that becoming a reality are slim to none. but friday afternoon, i said to myself "fuck it" and went to craigslist.

"amatuer photographer with good eye...FREE!!!" read the headline of my post. inside the post i asked what anyone who replied had to lose.

an hour or so later i had a reply from dr. michael rodriguez, a professor setting up a new website for which he wanted some photos. we exchanged a couple of emails in which i was adamant about keeping his expectations at the right level. i made sure he knew that i didn't even have a tripod, nevermind lights or a makeup person. he was still game.

i had tutor training saturday and sunday so i told him i would call him saturday night to try to set something up for sunday evening. when i got home saturday i was extremely apprehensive about the call but somehow summoned the courage to finally make it. i kept referring to him as "dr. rodriguez" out of respect until he requested that i call him "micheal." he asked what i was hoping to accomplish with the exercise and i explained that the majority of my photos are captures of fleeting moments and almost none are staged. i wanted to try to become more well-rounded and felt that this exercise would be a step in the right direction. i asked him what he was looking for and he said "something black and white, weird angles, kinda artsy." "we can certainly try that," i said. "how about tomorrow at seven?" "cool," i replied, nervous as hell.

i took an entire SAT test (minus the essay) at training on sunday. i was pretty wiped out on the 35 minute drive back home and kept asking myself "what the hell do you think you're doing?" regarding my "stupid" 7 o'clock plans. "you, of all people, are going to drive into boston by yourself to meet a complete stranger and take pictures of him?"

when the time came to leave for boston, i wanted to call michael and tell him that i was backing out. somehow, i didn't.

i made it to his apartment with no issue. when he came outside to greet me at the door, i was having fifth thoughts about the whole idea. as we climbed the stairs to his apartment, i made nervous small talk. i asked how long he'd been a professor at BU and what he taught. i also commented on how awesome the apartment building was.

he was extremely friendly and he made me feel as at ease as possible given the circumstances. when the time came to start taking pictures, he would ask me for advice. i could tell right away that coming up with creative ideas on the fly is something i will need to work on if it is an acquirable skill. luckily, he was extremely patient and had a good idea of what he wanted.

we'd take a few pictures and then i'd show them to him. i'd make it clear i was showing them only to get feedback, not to get him to pick any as "the one." we worked very well together. he'd make a suggestion and i'd try to make it work. i kept thanking him for being so patient and he kept thanking me for the same thing.

as i found myself kneeling on the floor, aiming my camera up at him sitting in a chair next to his lamp with the shade removed, i thought to myself "i'm really enjoying this."

i definitely lucked out getting him as my first subject, though. someone less patient and less friendly would have made things so much harder.

when he took my camera and said "wow, i think that's the one" with a clear satisfaction, i felt a sense of pride. i was really happy that i took myself out of my comfort zone.

did i do a good job? not really. aside from telling him that the way he was holding his hands looked good to me, i wasn't nearly as creative as i should have been.

but it was my first try.

and i challenged myself.

that's gotta count for something, right?